I first read Meditations for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman during one of the hardest seasons of my life. I was a mom of four, recently back to work, burnt out, and in therapy trying to figure out how to stop running myself into the ground. My therapist recommended it and I am so glad she did.
This book didn’t just give me productivity tips or a new morning routine. It genuinely shifted the way I see myself, my time, and my life. It gave me permission to be human.
I’m now a mom of five, recently back to work again after maternity leave, and I do not want to end up in that same place of burnout. So I came back to this book. I went through my notes. And I started sharing my takeaways online because if these lessons helped me, maybe they can help someone else too.
That’s what this post is. My honest, personal notes from all 28 chapters. It’s not a book report, just the things that stopped me cold and made me think. The things I’m still working on. The things I keep coming back to and I hope you’ll take and apply to your own life in whatever way makes sense for you.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, like you’re never doing enough, or like you’re so busy planning for the future that you’re missing the life right in front of you then this one’s for you.
Grab a cup of something warm and settle in.
“Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts” by Oliver Burkeman
Day 1
- Accept that Life is limited and it’s impossible to do everything
- Nothing you ever do will be perfect
- Failure is not final
- Control over and safety from life is not possible, accept it and relax.
Day 2
- Just pick something and do it.
- Don’t over complicate things trying to work out what the best thing to do is.
Day 3
- Choices always have consequences.
- We are not guaranteed to never have to suffer negative consequences.
- Sometimes it can be worth paying the price – that IS an option.
- Examine the trade-offs and opt for the one I like.
Day 4
- You don’t have to optimize everything.
- There is not a productivity debt.
- Insecure overachiever – accomplishments driven by a fear of inadequacy.
- You’ll never rest if you’re concerned you’re not reaching your full potential.
- God gives grace and there is nothing you can do to EARN heaven.
- Consider tracking a DONE LIST instead of a TO DO LIST.
Day 5
- There is information overload but ‘Filter Failure’ is within my control
- You will never get to the end of a never ending supply of information
- Think of information as a stream that flows past and I get to pick which things floating by I chose to spend time consuming/enjoying
Day 6
- You can’t care about everything.
- Pick your battles
- You’re more effective doing something about the few things you actually care about instead of being overwhelmed and doing nothing about everything
Day 7
- “Act with zest one day at a time and nevermind the rest.”
- Cross that bridge when you come to it because you won’t have all the information to make a decision until you’re there.
- Don’t let worrying about the future destroy the present.
- Never let the future disturb you- trust you have all the tools you will need to make the decisions that need to be made in that moment.
- Do the next and most necessary thing.
Day 8
- Just make a choice.
- If you don’t choose consciously you’ll make a choice passively.
- Don’t overthink and fret about which choice to make since you’ll never be able to compare one path vs. the other.
Day 9
- Completion replenishes energy, rather than eating it up.
- Finishing what you start gives fuel for further meaningful productivity.
- Try spending a day finishing as much as possible and see how much energy you have.
Day 10
- Look for the life task (what your life is asking of you)
- Life tasks emerge from your real current circumstances
Day 11
- Don’t avoid. Go there. Don’t let it fester.
- Diffuse the anxiety of tasks by accepting it as part of your reality.
- Things are as they are, whether I like it or not.
Day 12
- Do things daily-ish
- Don’t strive to achieve an unbroken chain of daily habits as a rule, make rules that serve your life.
Day 13
- Engage in focused work for 3 hours a day
- It frees you from pressures of 8hours of productivity
Day 14
- We’ll never reach a point where we have no more please problems
- Accept that life will always have problems for us to face, solve and overcome.
Day 15
- Sometimes you don’t have to motivate yourself to “make” things happen. Sometimes you can just LET things happen. No effort.
- Ask, what would this look like if it were easy?
- Just decide things are not complex and that you’re living life on easy mode.
Day 16
- Don’t be your own worst enemy.
- Be kinder to yourself.
- Do what you feel like doing when you feel like doing it.
Day 17
- Act on a generous impulse the moment it arises.
- Move fast so you don’t have time to overthink it.
Day 18
- Allow others to have their problems – don’t take them on.
- You don’t have to people please. You can choose to let others react how they choose – it’s not my job to save everyone from their own feelings.
- Sometimes saying no is to everyone’s benefit.
Day 19
- Either things go right or they go wrong, a good time or a good story
- Life is like a dance where sometimes you lead but sometimes you follow. Control vs. Serendipity
Day 20
- Quantity can help improve quality
- Don’t get hung up on controlling the quality so much that you don’t allow anything to be produced
Day 21
- Let interruptions and distractions happen
- The mind is meant to gently bounce around – single pointed focus does not come naturally
- Don’t label things as interruptions and distractions from real life, they are real and it is part of your life
Day 22
- The present moment is not only for preparing for the future.
- Don’t obsess over doing things in the present for future you, or you’ll wind up resentful and sad for your past self who missed out on enjoying the present when you had a chance
- The pursuit of ambitious goals is one way of enjoying the present, as long as you’re not thinking that you’ll get to relax and be present in the future when it’s “all done” or when you achieve your goals – that point will never come, there’s always something
- Delayed gratification in moderation.
Day 23
- Pay yourself first in time by doing a little of the things you want to do consistently instead of putting it off for enjoyment in the future
- If you spend your time trying to clear the to do list you’ll spend your life doing that as the list is limitless
- Treat the list as a menu, options you get to pick, instead of steps that need to be done in the right order to optimize
Day 24
- “A perfectly kept house is a sign of a misspent life.”
- Scruffy hospitality is being willing to host in your home as it is
- Everyone has mess, why pretend we don’t?
Day 25
- You can’t hoard life.
- Enjoy the moment – it’s once in a lifetime.
Day 26
- Life goes on even after the worst case scenario.
- People die and those left behind have to learn to live without their loved ones, life’s meaning is lost but can be found again
Day 27
- People do astounding things and you CAN too.
- Give things a go!
Day 28
- What matters? You decide.
- Just live! Go! Don’t wait.
The Dappled Willow 