The Dappled Willow

Have you found yourself overwhelmed by the sheer amount of STUFF you’ve accumulated in your house since having a child? Do you feel like you’re always putting laundry away? Like you’re drowning in toys? Like you’re always picking up kids books? And markers and crayons and pencils are hiding in every room?

I’ve been there. I know the feeling. It’s like every room is smaller and somehow the walls just KEEP COMING IN! 

Thankfully I haven’t felt that in a while since I decluttered ALL of the kids’ stuff. 

Perhaps you’re thinking, “It’s not so bad. I just need to teach my kids how to put things away properly.” I thought the same thing. But just think. if you’re overwhelmed by it all how can a kid be expected to make sense of the mess? 

I have found that less really IS more and is better for my kids too.

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Will decluttering really help?

I did a BIG purge and I’m telling you, it was life-changing. It honestly improved my mood so much. My attitude towards the kids playing and making messes in general shifted for the better. I never wanted to stifle their imaginations and creativity, but the messes honestly made me grumpy. Now it all seems more manageable since there’s less to pick up and it’s only the stuff that we truly enjoy. 

Should the kids be involved?

Some people may tell you to involve your kids in the process, but mine are all 4 and under so I found it best to just go ahead and do it on my own. Truthfully, I considered my feelings above theirs. For example, I got rid of the clothes I didn’t like them wearing, tossed the noisy annoying toys that drove me bananas, purged the long-winded books that were dreery for me to read, and threw out (or saved for later) the art supplies that were more work than fun.

Don’t worry, I still considered their feelings but they’re so young I knew they would get over any loss very quickly. I got rid of so much stuff and I’m telling you, the kids barely even noticed. It’s not like I tossed everything. As far as they’re concerned they still have everything they “need”. I think involving them in the process would have made it take way longer and been way less productive and satisfying.

What if I make a mistake?

If the fear of making a mistake is holding you back then try putting any items you’re not sure about in a holding box. I don’t recommend holding on to everything as the point is to be rid of the clutter for good, but if certain things may have sentimental value or you think you or your child might actually need that item eventually, then try putting it in a separate box to be stored in the basement or garage for a time. If you find you and your child are getting by without it then let that box go and don’t look back. 

I’m glad I was intensive with the decluttering. I knew that if I made a “mistake” and got rid of something that I later wished we had kept, I could easily replace it if need be. Thankfully, I never felt like I had made a mistake.  

Can we really get by with less?

I’ll admit that at first I felt I was doing laundry more frequently but I stand by my moving towards a minimal wardrobe for the kids because it really simplified the worst part of the laundry process; putting all the clothes away. That part is so much faster now and the kids can actually participate in that aspect since they don’t have a lot of each item and know where everything goes.

We still have plenty of toys that I keep on rotation to limit their access even more and I find the kids are actually being more creative with what they have now. Plus it’s easier for me to be more intentional and engaging with them during play when I don’t feel overwhelmed by the chaos of a mess of toys.

The same goes for the books. It’s tough to say goodbye to those, especially if they have sentimental value. I purged the ones that were beyond repair (ripped up and chewed), fixed the ones I could with book tape and put a whole bunch in storage for later (mostly the books with thinner pages that are too fragile for the younger kids). The kids are free to read the board books as they please and even though I remind them often they have to put things back where they found them, books still wind up scattered on the floor. Kids right? I don’t mind that kind of mess though. That’s an easy cleanup that I’m happy to help with if need be. 

How do I do this decluttering thing?

I followed these two simple steps: 1. Declutter and 2. Designate Storage. I went one category at a time (Clothes, Toys, Books, Art Supplies) and decided to be aggressive.

For each category gather everything into one pile. You may be surprised by how much you actually have. Use the questions below to help guide your decluttering. If it CAN go, then just let it go! I know it will be hard for some things but trust me, you can do it! And it will feel so good once you do. 

Step 1: Declutter

Clothes

• Is it in good condition? 
  • Any stains? 
  • Any holes? 
  • Are the elastics stretched out?
• Does it fit properly? 
• Do I like when my kid wears this?
• Does my kid like wearing it? 
• Do I really want/need to keep it for the next kid?

Toys

• Is it annoying?
  • Does it need batteries?
  • Does it make noise?
  • Does it drive me crazy?
• Is it part of a set?
  • Is the whole set worth keeping? 
• Is it easy to clean up? 
• Does it store easily?
• Do the kids even play with it? 

Books

• Is it damaged? (Ripped or chewed)
  • Can I fix it?
• Is it sentimental? (Passed down or inscribed)
• Do I like reading this story to my kids?
• Do the kids like this book?

Arts Supplies

• Does it work? 
• Is it messy?
• Is it easy to clean up?
• Does my kid use it?
• Is this appropriate for my child’s age?
• Should I save it for later?

Step 2: Designate Storage

How you store your items will greatly depend on your space, use frequency and personal preferences but here are a few tips I’ve found to be game changers when storing our kids’ stuff.

Pick a Spot

First, make sure you choose a place that makes sense for each item. This one seems obvious but sometimes you really have to think about where to put the toys, books and art supplies, especially when out of rotation.

Communicate!

Once you’ve chosen a home for each item, it is crucial to clearly communicate it to the children and your partner to avoid confusion and frustration. There will be some adjusting of course but don’t assume everyone will just know the proper place for things overnight.

Divide and Conquer

Dressers are great for clothing storage because you can group your items by category in each drawer (sock drawer, shirt drawer, pajama drawer, etc.) Since our boys share a room and share a dresser we went a step further by dividing each of their drawers. Every piece of clothing has a clear place and I love how it has simplified putting laundry away and getting the kids dressed. It’s simple to implement with a cardboard box, build some if you’re handy or order some spring-loaded adjustable dividers.

Ditch the Toy Box

Growing up we had a Toy Box and I vividly remember throwing everything out on the floor with my little sister when searching for something to play with. We had fun, but I’m sure my mom did not. I’ve recently added a dresser in our play room and I’ve designated a drawer for each kind of toy (car drawer, tools drawer, blocks drawer, action figure drawer, puzzle drawer, etc.). I’m telling you it’s worked wonders! I encourage them to only play with one kind of toy at a time. When they’re done with one they can only move on to the next once the first one is all put away. It’s great because they quickly learned where everything goes and now when they want something in particular they know exactly where to find it. It’s also awesome that they don’t need to take out a whole bunch of other toys to get to the one they’re after. 10/10 Highly recommend a Toy Dresser in lieu of a Toy Box.

Books in Batches

Not long ago, we kept all of the kids books together on a small bookcase in the living room and it was all too easy for the munchkins to pull them all off the shelves. I’ve since divided the books into a few different areas and I’m liking this system much better. There are some bedtime books in the boys’ room, some more childish ones in the nursery and some fan favourites in a basket in the living room. A few books scattered on the floor are easier for the kids to pick up and put away than their entire collection.

Clearly Contain the Craft Stuff

We do most arts and crafts at the dining room table so we keep all of our supplies in a nearby dresser. (Yes, I know I love dressers!) The more innocent supplies (like colouring pencils and colouring books) are kept in a basket in a lower drawer. The kiddos can easily access it and see what they want to use in the basket. Clear tight Tupperware containers keep things like crayons, chalk, and playdough together, easy to find and a bit more protected from little hands. Then scissors, glue and permanent markers are in Ziploc bags and clear zippered or latched pencil cases in higher drawers that the little ones can’t reach.

My children know that the things they find in the bottom drawer are fair game but the other drawers are off limits. It’s nice that I can keep activities and supplies stored safely higher up. This system has been working really well for us and I’m much more aware of what supplies I have to work with now.

Is your house always clean now?

Straight up. NO. I still find messes daily. But at least now I find cleanup much more manageable and less overwhelming. And now it’s easier for the kids to be responsible for their messes and clean it up themselves. I mean, we’re working on it. 

And remember that maintenance is key. I’m still getting rid of things as I see fit to keep the categories simple. New stuff is always going to come in the house as gifts or school supplies. Thankfully you, as the parent, get to make the decision about if things are kept and how everything is rotated and stored. 

I can only hope I’m setting a good example for my children and they’re learning good habits through this approach to managing our household.

What do I do with all the stuff I don’t want to keep?

Sell

I am a huge fan of the secondhand economy. If you think some of your used items are worth selling then there are a number of places you can try listing them for sale (Facebook Marketplace is a personal fave). You could also have a garage sale if you have the time and energy.

Gift

You can offer to pass things on to family and friends or to those in your community through your local Buy Nothing group or Moms Supporting Moms group on Facebook.

I wish you luck in your decluttering journey. Happy purging!