The Dappled Willow

Do you ever just get the urge to paint your brick fireplace at 9:47PM? No? That’s just me? Oh, okay cool. Well I guess that’s just one example of how I’ve opted to sacrifice my sleep for the sake of home improvement. I love a good Before and After. And I have no regrets! In fact, I want MORE.

The other day I shared about my struggle to balance my top priorities; HAPPY KIDS, ENOUGH SLEEP, and a TIDY HOUSE. 

I’m so glad I shared this because it seemed to resonate with a lot of people and I had really great conversations as a result. Most people said they let the house go first and I too tend to let that ball drop before my sleep. I got some tips on how to tidy quickly but what I heard most was that I need to manage my expectations. 

I totally agree that managing my expectations is key during this season of life with toddlers and infants. It really was good for me to hear that from so many people. I mean, it’s not like I want my home on the cover of a magazine, but I do wish we could get more projects done that would simplify our lives and make our home more peaceful. And I don’t expect it to be tidy all of the time; I love play time with toys, books, crafts and forts! But I just want the HAPPY KIDS who use the items to learn to put them away properly too.

I think that requires a bit more effort on my part. I think more decluttering, home improvement projects and implementing better storage solutions will help teach the kids about order. I can sing the cleanup song all night long but that won’t help them understand that “cars go in the basket, dinosaurs in the bag, and blocks in the bin.”

And yes, even with toy rotation the items still seem to wander from their designated spots. Just ask the Captain America action figure I stepped on the other night. He’ll confirm he does not belong just under the bedskirt, yet there he was. I understand these things do happen but it’s part of the job of a parent to teach kids to pick up after themselves, right?

Plus, I feel as though the tidiness of the house affects my mood and mental health as well as the quality of my sleep. There’s science behind tidy rooms leading to better sleep, I swear. Perhaps instead of a triangle where you can only Pick Two priorities, I should view it as a linear model where a TIDY HOUSE leads to BETTER SLEEP, making me a better parent which makes for HAPPY KIDS!

I found a helpful article by Rachel Norman, of the blog A Mother Far From Home, with tips on how to keep a house tidy with small kids. I’ve also been rereading Marie Kondo’s book The Lifechanging Magic of Tidying Up for more tidying inspiration. Marie talks about imagining your ideal lifestyle to clarify why you want to tidy. She says, “[her] process is not about decluttering your house or making it look neat on the spur of the moment for visitors. It’s about tidying up in a way that will spark joy in your life and change it forever.”

That’s what I’m after. I want that joy! Can you picture your ideal lifestyle? I can. But I know, I know, I need to manage my expectations. Marie Kondo just makes it seem so simple. I devoured her book a couple of years ago and have tried to use her KonMari method but it’s really tough.

Again, that fleeting resource, Time, is hard to come by with 3 kids and her approach of gathering everything by category takes a lot of energy. 

My mom introduced me to a YouTube channel called The Minimal Mom and it was so inspiring to see Dawn and her family with 4 children work their way towards what she calls “family minimalism.” She has lots of great tips and tricks for achieving a simplified lifestyle, and ways to get past decision fatigue. 

Yes, it’s a real thing and I’ve felt it lately. In September I decluttered the kids clothes, my clothes, books, toys and furniture. At the beginning of October we had a big backyard flea market and I was able to sell a lot of the stuff that no longer “sparked joy” or served a purpose. Even after I had made the decision to let something go, (which is not easy to begin with) I then had to decide how to price it all. 

Thank goodness for the friends and family who were there to help advise me because I was exhausted by the end of it. (I’m looking at you Chelsea!) We didn’t let anything back in the house and donated what was left after the sale to secondhand stores. There were a few exceptions for bigger items we felt we could sell on Facebook Marketplace, and thankfully we’ve had some success with those listings. 

Anyway, back to Marie Kondo and my imagined ideal home. It’s more than decluttering and simplifying storage systems; my goal is to feel at peace in our home. Unfortunately, every time I walk into a room there is something I’d like to change. Curse HGTV for making me want to gut everything and start fresh like it ain’t no big thang!

I should explain that when we moved in to our house almost 5 years ago, I was 23, 6 months pregnant and we didn’t have much money to make it our own after the down payment and other associated fees. We gladly accepted secondhand furniture and household items. We spent as little as possible and upcycled what we were given. Sweat equity is our biggest contribution to the house thus far and I’m afraid it’s painfully obvious that thriftiness trumped style.

We’ve done minor home improvements here and there, but there’s more I’d like to do. I’ve learned a lot about design, my likes and dislikes and discovered my desired look and feel. The problem is I’m still super cheap and there’s a DIY project I’d love to attempt everywhere I turn. I have so many ideas and I’m not sure where to start. But as I learned with my pumpkin saga in the kitchen, I can’t do everything at once. I need to pick one thing and focus on it until it’s done. 

So, I have a new proposition I’ve convinced my husband to get on board with. I’m calling it a Budget Room Refresh Challenge! I’m going to try and do ONE thing everyday that helps bring order and/or personality to our home. That means, decluttering, reorganizing, fixing, and tackling DIYs and home improvement projects. I’m going to go room by room so I can focus my attention and energy on one space at a time. Hopefully this will make our house more tidy and easier to manage in the day to day.

So be prepared for lots of Before and After shots in the future. I’m a mom on a mission to make her house a home. Wish me luck!

Follow me on Instagram @thedappledwillow for daily #BudgetRoomRefresh progress updates.