The Dappled Willow

The past month really has been a bit of a blur.

Our new school schedule makes the days go by in a flash. I’ve been decluttering as much as I can manage during nap times, still trying to have a bit of a social life in the evenings or blog when I get some down time alone. Weddings, birthdays, a commemoration, a farewell party and a baptism kept our weekends full too. Not much time for rest, relaxation or truly pausing to consciously and purposefully enjoy my family.

It’s really felt like I’ve been army crawling from one obligation to the next. Dan and I have been like two parallel lines; so much in common, heading in the same direction but never meeting. Don’t get me wrong, we still communicated and supported one another in whatever was at hand, but didn’t have much time to connect and plan ahead. Thankfully, this past weekend, that changed. 

Dan and I got to get away for a night in Ingersoll, Ontario for my cousin’s wedding. Dan booked the Friday off and after getting Henry on the bus and leaving Freddy with Nana, we hit the road with Ginny in tow. We had a 6 hour drive there and you better believe we took full advantage of that time together to reconnect. 

We talked the whole time. We discussed our family calendar, parenting, finances, home improvement projects, politics, and so much more. It was so great to have that time together to just talk. It reaffirmed how much I love my man and made me want to be more intentional about spending time with him. (I’ve heard some people do monthly date nights, we might start to give this a try.) 

The wedding was beautiful and we danced the night away! Actually, that night away was probably the best sleep we’ve both had in months (even with Ginny needing a night feed). Since the boys were left at home we had the freedom to sleep-in the next day, but we still woke up at 6:30AM as we’ve been conditioned to do so. Don’t worry, we hit up the complimentary breakfast buffet and went back to bed. We slept as much as we could right up until we had to check out. Feeling refreshed, we hit the road and enjoyed yet another 6 hours of talking. And yep, we’re still in love. 

We found we couldn’t wait to get back home; it was only one night but we missed the boys so much. When we walked in the door we were greeted by Henry who was excited to have new patrons for his living room fort restaurant. I hugged him and told him I missed him and his brother while we were gone. Henry informed me that he missed me but didn’t miss me because he had so much fun. Shout out to Auntie Mémé for the fantastic care-giving! 

I wish I had enjoyed the pretend food Henry and Freddy offered me a little longer. I wish I wasn’t so preoccupied with what had to happen next and could have been more present in the moment. Unfortunately, all I could think of was that supper needed to be prepared, Ginny needed a diaper change and to feed, the laundry needed to be gathered and started and the mess of toys had to be cleaned up. I’m still wrestling with how to balance the needs and wants of our household. 

Sunday morning, I woke up to Henry’s sweet face right in my face asking me to button his dress shirt for church. It was 6:30AM. I told him it was way too early for that. Besides, Daniel wanted to take the boys for a nature walk. He typically does something with the boys on weekend mornings so that I can sleep in with Ginny and I am eternally grateful.

This time I said, “No. Come on Lydia. You’re going to get your butt out of bed and do something just for fun with your family.” There was no obligation. No larger family gathering. No occasion. No real reason besides being with my family. Making memories, enjoying each other’s company, enjoying the weather, enjoying nature. It was beautiful and I’m so glad I didn’t stay in bed and enjoy extra zzzs instead. 

We went to Notre Dame Cathedral for the 12:15PM mass and afterwards I suggested we go for another walk. It was such a beautiful day and instead of going straight to the next task of the day I told myself and my family we need to stop and smell the roses! 

I chased the boys around the legs of the giant spider outside the National Gallery of Canada. We walked to Major’s Hill Park and had snacks, beers and hotdogs at Tavern on the Hill. There was a moment while I was breastfeeding Ginny on the patio, soaking in the sun, feeling the cool breeze, with Daniel beside me, watching Freddy and Henry giggle as they played, feeling my heart so full that it could burst right out of my chest and so happy that I could cry.  

I’m glad I allowed that moment to happen. The kids are always having fun but I’m often too busy stressing about something or trying to shuffle them on to the next thing that I’m not having fun myself. I’m glad I took note of that moment. And I’m glad I’m reflecting on it and writing it down now.

I am learning to be more intentional with my time with my family. I want to make arrangements to allow my husband and I to get away for date nights and meaningful conversation. I want to play more actively with my children. I want to take advantage of beautiful days and flexible schedules. My family is here and now. Nothing, not even extra sleep, should keep me away from my fam.