The Dappled Willow

“If you ever need a babysitter let me know.” 

I’ve received many offers such as this but I always think to myself, “No way. I couldn’t possibly.” It’s not that the person can’t be trusted to watch my kids. I just always assume they’re being polite and I don’t want to impose.

I don’t want to inconvenience anyone. Especially other moms who have their own kids to deal with. I don’t want people to know how whack my kids can be. As I’ve said before, I don’t want any childless friends to point to me and my family as the reason they don’t want kids.

I also don’t want people to see the true state of my house. It cleans up nice but is generally a mess. (Seriously, you have to watch out for those hard plastic Mega Blocks; they’re brightly coloured but often hide in unusual places, just waiting for unsuspecting victims to step on them.)

Most of all, I don’t want people to think I NEED help. Like I’m weak sauce and can’t handle everything on my own. 

So the other day I got a text from a girl I know. Not a super close friend but we’ve hung out in group settings a few times. Her reaching out was a direct result of my sharing through this blog about my struggles momming.

My knee-jerk reaction is always, “Thanks so much, I’ll let you know.”  But her offer was so tempting. And Daniel does have soccer every week…

This time I thought, “Why the heck not Lydia?! Don’t be stubborn. It’s not weak to accept help.” I knew I could get through an evening without Dan. I’ve done it before. But I also knew it would be so much more enjoyable with company. So I decided to put my pride to the side and texted her back “Are you free Tuesday?”

The living room was scattered with books, blocks, clothes and cars. Typically I would’ve spent some time frantically trying to get it all in order before having company over. But this time I told myself, “No, just relax. Feed your baby. Let your kids play. Today is going to be a different kind of day.”

She knocked on the door and I took a deep breath. “Here we go.” I thought to myself. “Hopefully she still likes me by the end of the night.”

She. Was. Amazing!

She played with the boys while I got dinner ready. It was refreshing to get supper on the table quickly and in peace. She listened as the boys chattered at her all throughout dinner and helped me encourage them to take bites between sentences and songs.

She did the dishes while I nursed the baby and watched the boys play then clean up. She held the baby while I gave the boys their bath and got them ready for bed. She even helped with brushing teeth while I changed diapers. She agreed to read the bedtime story and joined us for goodnight prayers. 

And that’s not all! 

She stayed and we had a lovely chat about so many things as I nursed Ginny again. Then she burped and bounced the babe as I tackled one of the decluttering tasks on my long To-Do list. When that was done she said, “Great! Now go take a shower.”

Is this girl an angel sent from above?!

I thanked her profusely before she left but she insisted she was so happy to have spent the evening with us and said she’d love to come again. 

THIS GIRL! What a blessing! I tell you, I am blown away. That someone can be so generous with their time and energy to help a mom like me. I am not worthy.

But you know, it was nice to share the joy of my children with someone new. I think she genuinely enjoyed helping me and spending time with the kiddos. Especially the baby cuddles.

I’m so glad I chose to get over myself and welcomed her into our home. It was actually easier than I thought it would be. Once I got past my initial embarrassment and pulled back the curtain on my personal gong show it was really nice to share and accept her love and care. I would never have expected such kindness from someone outside of my, perhaps unnecessarily tight, circle of trust. But we related one on one, in person, not through social media or texts. We built relationship and community. Isn’t that fantastic?

So next time someone offers to come over and help me out or offers to babysit I think I’ll just have a look at my calendar and set a date. I mean why the heck not, right?! I have nothing to lose except my stupid pride and we all have so much to gain by embracing a culture full of community care.