The Dappled Willow

I have a confession. It’s kind of embarrassing but, I can’t really swim.

I never had lessons when I was a kid and we didn’t have many friends with pools growing up, so it’s a life skill that I struggle with.

I can stay afloat. I can doggy paddle. I prefer using flotation devices though.

If you see me in a pool, I’ve probably got a noodle.

I feel like this translates to my current life situation; I am capable of at least keeping afloat but definitely appreciate assistance to stay above water.

As I stand on the precipice, about to take the plunge back into full-time momming, I’m feeling the nerves.

This is going to be a big year!

My oldest is about to start kindergarten next week – I just can’t believe he’s so big already. We’re diving into a whole new world of parenting tasks and responsibilities and I’m feeling the pressure. 

Then there’s my middle guy, who will no longer be in daycare and will be staying at home with me and the baby. Full time.

I’m going to have to get creative and step my game up when it comes to activities for him. He needs to be moving or eating AT ALL TIMES!

Exhibit A:

And of course there’s the needs of a breastfeeding newborn too. 

It’s all a little daunting. 

This is what I signed up for though. My husband and I agreed that we wanted “a bunch” of kids.

Thank goodness my man is a strong swimmer. He may have to use some life-guarding skills to keep me from drowning.

Are you sensing my self-doubt? 

Can I do this? Can I care for the kiddos, cook, and clean? Get laundry done? Be on time for appointments?

Can I handle ALL THE THINGS?! 

As I prepare for the crazy year ahead, I keep repeating the mantra of The Little Engine That Could to myself.

“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!” 

And for those moments when I think I just CAN’T anymore, there will be the wise words of Dory from Finding Nemo to get me through.

“Just keep swimming!”

I’ll be working on my parenting and housekeeping skills this year. Hopefully I’ll become a stronger metaphorical swimmer.

And who knows, maybe I’ll take an adult swim class too. If and when I can find the time.

God, give me strength… and enough sleep. And maybe a life jacket.